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Chapter I

Appetizers & Snacks

 

Jamaican Beef Patties:

Much relished as a tasty snack by many a buccaneer.  'Calico Jack' is said to have eaten nothing else. This probably accounted for his rather sickly and pallid appearance.

 

Taken in moderation and washed down with several noggins of dark rum these peppery delights were a great source of instant buccaneer bravado, (rather like our modern equivalent 'The Power Bar').

Ingested  between broadsides or just prior to boarding a disabled vessel, the overwhelming press of pirate plunderers rushing to take advantage of the extra 'head' opportunities often resulted in unconditional surrender and much relief all round.

 

The crew of the “Rosie Lee” a frigate of 16 guns of which 'Calico Jack' was master, were almost driven to mutiny due to his total absence in any confrontation with a 'prize ship' on the high seas. 'Calico Jack' was charged with cowardice and "bringing Buccaneers and Corsairs into disrepute" by an informal court made up of prominent members of the Brethren including such notables as Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet and Richard Worley.

 

'Dogtooth Charlie,' his advocate, used the then novel plea of innocent by "reason of incontinence".  No formal records of the hearing remain today, but we must surmise the charge was dropped because 'Calico Jack' never touched another pattie for as long as he lived, which, in fact, was two days.

 

It is told that his ship, the aptly named “Jamaican Revenge," surprised a richly laden Dutch merchantman, the brigantine 'Amstelight' some 5 8nm.  NE of Jost Van Dyke. The Dutchman put up a spirited resistance and 'Calico Jack' not being at the head in this particular instance was mortally wounded by his own hand when his pistol accidentally discharged while he was peering down the barrel.

 

INGREDIENTS

1 lb. Lean top sirloin (goat)

2 Tablespoons of grape shot

1 1/2 lbs. fresh ground hot pepper

3 Large Onions

3 Teaspoons of Soy Sauce

1 1/2 Egg yolks gently but extensively beaten.

Pillsbury ready made pastry case

METHOD

Combine the ground beef with the grapeshot (for that crunchy consistency) in a large iron pot and adjust your fire to Regulo No.8 or 425 C. stirring gently, add the three large onions (unpeeled but slightly menaced) until mixture is browned.

Drain and add remaining ingredients, leaving aside the pastry.  Refresh yourself with copious amounts of dark rum.  If the mixture is very dry get your mates to spit into the pot. This aids in holding the pattie contents together as we shall demonstrate later.

Remove one of two pieces of wood from the fire, being very careful not to inflict more than second degree burns on your hands.  This may have the effect of reducing the heat to a more bearable temperature.

Allow to cool to ambient temperature.

A little beachcombing at this crucial juncture will probably result in the salvage of a suitable piece of jetsam that may be used in the next stage.

Add extra sand to the board you have successfully scavenged, roll out the barrel and the pastry.  Imbibe copious draughts.  Try to get the pastry dough as thin as possible, given the right conditions 1 1/2 inches is easily achievable.

Using the heel of your boot stamp out circles of dough about 6 inches. in diameter.

Place one fistful of the previously prepared pattie filling in the center of the dough circles.

Again using saliva or some other tacky substance moisten the edges of pastry circles and fold the dough over to make a mess.

Crimp edges together using teeth, preferably your own.

(Domestic hygiene not to be ignored, even by pirates).  Brush top lightly with albatross tail feather moistened with coconut milk.

Place patties on un-greased Teflon baking tray and suspend over fire, not forgetting to replace the burning embers you removed earlier.

If in the meantime the patties have burned to ashes refer to Chapter 27.

To make twice as many patties, perhaps for those pirate parties, double the ingredients and add an extra log to the fire.

 

 

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